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THE BIZARRE MOVIE REVIEWER

                                                                 David Lynch section





We all know David Lynch is a nut who constantly makes bizarre films  It has gotten to the point that his last name has become synonymous with dark films which few people understand.  Many people regard him as a genius, the only true artist in cinema today.  Others regard him as someone who just places a lot of images together with no sense to weave them into a structure just so that he will be considered brilliant.  In my opinion, after watching and reading several interviews with him, he's a man who has several good ideas for a film but wants you to guess them what they mean together sometimes, just because he himself does not have a very clear picture on what he's trying to say.  The best I can come to summarize this with his own words is "I always sort of wanted to do films. Not so much a movie-movie as a film-painting. I wanted the mood of the painting to be expanded through film, sort of a moving painting. It was really the mood I was after. I wanted a sound with it that would be so strange, so beautiful, like if the Mona Lisa opened her mouth and turned, and there would be a wind, and then she'd turn back and smile. It would be strange."  Another appropiate quote is "It doesn't do any good to say, 'This is what it means.' When you are spoon fed a film, people instantly know what it is. I like films that leave room to dream."

There is no real style I could assign to Lynch.  He's an independent director (with the exception of Dune), whom frequently casts Kyle McLaughlan,  Laura Dern, Jack Nance, Everett McGill, Isabella Rossellini, Dean Stockwell, Brad Dourif, Sherilyn Fenn,  Grace Zabriskie and Sheryl Lee, plus a musician; uses slow-mo in the action sequences; sets an angels vs. demons approach, sometimes with several variations of the same character; he prefers to look at people from small towns; likes to explore failing romantic and sexualrelationships; and takes a slow pacing to his films while showing a parade of dark images.  Sometimes he's presenting the story from the view from inside the main character's own deranged mind.  Other times he's just playing it "straight" while presenting wild images.

Other than the films listed here, he has also made the more "normal" film The Elephant Man, which got 8 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Director, although it won none.  He's also made several short films, including one for the project/documentary Lumiere and Company, and was responsible for the TV series Twin Peaks.

(this section is under construction)

Blue Velvet
(1986)

Bizarreness level: 6 shots out of 10
Rating: 7 out of 10

Dune
(1984)

Bizarreness level: 6 shots out of 10
Rating: 10 out of 10

Eraserhead
(1977)

Starring: Jack Nance (who appeared in all of Lynch's films except The Elephant Man, before he was murdered in 1996; also in Ghoulies, Meatballs 3 & 4, Colors, The Blob '88, Motorama), Charlotte Stewart (Human Highway, Buddy Buddy, Tremors), Judith Anna Roberts, Laurel Near, Allen Joseph (small roles in Marathon Man and Raging Bull), Jeanne Bates (numerous 1940s B-movies, most notably Return of the Vampire, also in Grand Canyon and Die Hard 2 and dozens of TV appearances since the 1950s), among others.
Written by: Lynch.
Genre: Your guess is as good as any.  It sure isn't romantic comedy, though.
Duration: 1 hr. 30 mins.
Availability: Any video rental in the US.  However, it is never shown on TV nor is it on sale right now in the US and most parts of the world in any format, although a DVD version is about to come out, supposedly.

This is the film that has the name that is synonymous with bizarre cinema.  It has inspired hundreds of incoherent pseudo-art student short films done in black and white, but is far above them.  Within its absolute bizarreness it makes a lot of sense, only that you have to interpret what is going on.  You can either view it as a nightmare by the main character where he mixes several events in his life that cause him anxieties, or you can see it as the main character going insane and in his mind exagerating all of his anxieties.  Or you can go insane yourself and see this as a plain linear sci-fi film set in a very sick world.

On the surface, above all the metaphors, the story goes something like this:  Henry is an odd-looking guy who lives by himself in a bleak apartment set amid many unpopulated factories.  He gets lonely, anxious, and confused quite easily, and has little human contact, while he has visions of a workman in a planet.  Worms pop out of nowhere for no reason at any time.  He lusts for his next-door neighbor, but seems to fear her as well.  He has a girlfriend, Mary, who is mentally unstable and is pregnant with his child.  We see him go to eat at her parents' house, where her mother is always angry and has a borderline personality problem, the father is always happy, the grandmother is perhaps dead, and the food is bleeding and moving.  Yep, just like Thanksgiving at my house last year... Anyway, the mother finds out that Mary's pregnant and goes nutso.  The next day Mary moves into his place with her already born baby, or whatever you can call the creature.  It is a tiny, monstrous, badly developed, legless, ever-crying mutant wrapped in bandages.  Mary gets sick of the baby's cries, so she abandons them.  Then the baby develops a terrible disease and the crying gets worse, and he can't even get out of the apartment.  Henry only gets soothed by the voice of a woman who sings somewhere inside the radio/radiator a 1930s-like song about "In Heaven, Everything is Fine", so much that he starts to dream about her.  She's a mutant as well, but somehow lovely, amid a group of worms.  Then the dream turns into Henry fighting with Mary, who is filled with worms.  Then a worm eats him.  He wakes up (or does he?) and his vampy neighbor knocks at the door, and they have sex.  Then he dreams again and is transported back to the world of the singing mutant "Chipmunk woman", happier.  But the workman of his visions appears, scaring off the worms.  The workman says something to Henry and plants a tree.  Henry gets nervous and his head explodes, with the baby's head suddenly in place of his own, causing the tree to bleed.  His head surfaces on a desolate street and is picked up by a kid, who sells it to some sort of manufacturer, who uses Henry's head to make erasers (hence the title).  He then wakes up and goes to encounter his neighbor, but no one answers the door, causing the baby to laugh at him.  He opens the door, only to find her with another lover.  Not only that, but his head momentarily transforms into that of the baby.  Henry goes nuts over this and over the crying diseased baby, grabs a pair of scissors, and cuts open its bandages, only to find that they were all that were keeping its body sealed.  Henry decides to put the baby out of its misery (and his own misery) and cuts up its heart.  The lights start to flicker, more visions of the workman appear (this time unable to control some machinery that is out of control), and suddenly Henry finds himself in a bright light, next to the Chipmunk woman.  He hugs her and they both smile... The end.

Basically your particular interpretation of the story rests on what you believe the worms and the workman represent.  The rest is easy to interpret as Henry's anxieties, his guilts, his depressions, his lack of will to go on living this hell, and his vision of escaping it all.  You can view the workman as a god and the worms as demons.  Or you can view the workman as Henry's weak chance to fix everything and the worms as external forces that deteriorate everything around him.  Or you can opt for at least another dozen possibilities, if you actually want to interpret it all.  David Lynch sure doesn't want to tell you what is going on, except that it is a nightmare. Not that having an interpretation or a particular framework to view this will make the film any easier to watch, though, and it is sure to bewilder you even if you think you know what is going on.  That's the fun part of it.  However, as bizarre and interesting as it can be, it also wears you down.  And behind all those metaphors you don't find as much of a story as you would expect, and it isn't very entertaining - not that it's meant to be, though.  It is very rough viewing, but overall worth it.  And it is one of the best pure "art" films around, although personally I don't hail it as a masterpiece either (suddenly, after reading that, every film student and professor writes me angry e-mails explaining why it is a masterpiece - remember, I'm not a film student nor do I care much for that many "art" films; if you do, you'll appreciate this way more than I do).  Which is not to say it is a bad film; it is definitely a good movie.  It's just that I don't see it as that deep and powerful, despite the great artwork and the fact that I will probably never grasp its full meaning.  Yes, I know I'm not making much sense, and am probably contradicting myself.  Let's just say it is fitting to not make much sense when you are reviewing one of the most bizarre movies of all time...

Some background on the film: it was done throughout 4 years, with a budget of $10000, funded in part by the AFI and funded in part by Lynch's friends and families and odd jobs.  Even though it is 90 minutes long, it only has a 20-page script (the assistant editor of which was Carrie herself, Sissy Spacek), and the soundtrack only has two tracks, each 20 minutes long.  Actually, it was 110 minutes long, but Lynch edited out 20 minutes (and several credited characters) after the first screening.  The costumes look worndown because they were actually bought from the Salvation Army.  The make-up effects look strange because they actually were of a strange nature that caused some pain and damage to the actors.  They had to move around from set to set, altering locations and improvising some decorations.  When the film came out, several known directors started to really promote it, including Kubrick and John Waters.  When Mel Brooks was secretely working as the producer on "The Elephant Man" and was searching for a director, he heard of Lynch and talked with him.  But before hiring him he decided to view this film first.  Lynch thought that all would be lost after Brooks watched it, but actually good ol' Mel ran out of the theatre at the end, said to him "You are a madman! You're hired!" and hugged him.  And Lynch's career took off after that (and after Elephant Man gave him a best director Oscar nomination).

If you want to see more eerie, bizarre, black and white cinema from Lynch, check out his student shorts: Six Figures Getting Sick, The Alphabet, The Grandmother.

Bizarreness level: 10 shots out of 10
Rating: 8 out of 10

Lost Highway
(1997)

Starring: Bill Pullman (Independence Day, Spaceballs, Malice, The Serpent and the Rainbow), Patricia Arquette (True Romance, Ed Wood, Beyond Rangoon, Stigmata), Balthazar Getty (Young Guns II, White Squall, Lord of the Flies), Robert Loggia (Independence Day, Innocent Blood, Mancuso,FBI, Scarface), Robert Blake (Money Train, The Little Rascals), among maaany others.
Written by: Lynch and Barry Gifford (Wild at Heart)
Genre: Something like Film noir/Horror/Suspense
Duration: 2 hr 15 mins.
Availability: It's on every format possible in most video stores and rentals, not to mention being showed from time to time on premium cable movie channels.

Here's some indications on how mad this film is:

1) In one scene at a party at a mobster's house everyone is watching a porno film that stars Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez.

2) There's a pointless (yet great) shot of a cabin exploding - reversed!

3) Henry Rollins is cast as a jail guard.

4) Bill Pullman plays someone who may be a murderer.

5) Richard Pryor gets his only role in several years (unfortunately, multiple sclerosis is keeping him away from showing his talent), and it is as a gas attendant.

6) Every main character splits into two people or is referred to by two names.

7) Gary Busey plays a concerned father.

8) We never learn what happened at the pivotal events.

9) Soundtrack: Nine Inch Nails, David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, late 90s Smashing Pumpkins, and Lou Reed.

10) Mink Stole does the voice of a forewoman.

11) Recurring creepy character looks like Uncle Fester and is played by Robert Blake (yep, Mickey of The Little Rascals) of all people.  This has become creepier after Robert Blake's scandal with the mysterious death of his wife in 2001.

12) ... and, of course, the director is David Lynch.

Now... what is it about? Suppossedly, its a trip into the mind of a man who has gone insane after murdering his wife.  However, even this explanation leaves out answers to several questions arising from the multiple images presented here.  On a linear level, this is the story: Fred (Bill Pullman) is a jazz musician who is having a breaking marriage with his unhappy wife Renee (Patricia Arquette).  One day they start getting creepy films from an anonymous party, shot from inside their own home.  As well, he runs into this odd character who seems straight out of a horror film, who renames unnamed (Blake).  Several of these tapes arrive, including one where Fred seems to be murdering his wife.  Suddenly one day, after receiving a strange call telling him that "Dick Laurent is dead", Fred comes home and finds that Renee is dead.  So he gets arrested and sent to death row.  In there, he starts to develop some sort of fever, and then has some sort of experience straight out of Altered States, and suddenly, instead of Fred, in his place is some young new guy named Pete (Getty).  So now the action follows this character, who gets out of prison, and returns to his mundane suburban life, where his parents and his girlfriend (Natasha Gregson Wagner) keep on asking him if he remembers what happened the other night, as if something horrifying had happened.  He doesn't remember anything, save for a few flashbacks that involve some sort of car.  But he just goes on with his life. While working at a garage the next day, his boss introduces him to Mr. Eddy (Loggia), a friendly gangster who is also named Dick Laurent, and who takes a liking towards Pete and invites him to join in on his criminal activities (despite having the mind of Dennis Hopper's character in Blue Velvet).  Eventually Pete gets to meet Eddy's girlfriend, a blonde vixen named Alice (Arquette again), who just happens to resemble Renee physically.  And of course Pete and Alice start a screwed up love affair (and may I add, a mostly boring one, despite all the sex).  Some sort of tension builds while they keep their affair secret from Eddy's eyes.  And then a bunch of incoherent scenes happen for about half an hour, where characters mutate into alteregos and join in in strange going ons.  And the action winds back at Fred again, when Pete transforms during a sex scene, and he joins the mysterious guy.  The end... I can recall more of the film without getting a headache, quite frankly (and literally).

A dead give away is the quote from Fred, who says that he doesn't like to film things, as he prefers to remember events his own way, even if they are not the correct way.  This confusing story apparently is playing out in Fred's demented head, with characters representing different emotions, events, and personas in his life.  To give out an exact interpretation of how the pieces fit together is rather complicated, although Pete probably represents some sort of flashback from Fred's youth, Alice represents the wild side of Renee that turns Fred on at the same time that it disgusts him, Eddy/Dick represents somebody who Fred liked yet he perceives as evil and as a traitor (some friend, or perhaps a vision of his own dark side?), the mystery guy is just his own little guardian demon, and Richard Pryor represents Oksana Bin-Laden, as far as I'm concerned (hey, who said that the fantasies of people, or their hallucinations, have to reflect their real life?  Does everyone in your dreams resemble people you know?).  .However, even though interpreting all of this is rather interesting, a lot of the movie is plain dull.  The film plays better and is it interesting in the parts that involve Fred.  Once Pete starts hanging out with Mr. Eddy, and particularly when he starts having the affair with Renee, the film mostly makes you dizzy and sleepy.  It does pick up in the last 20 minutes, fortunately.

My basic feeling about this film is that Lynch wanted to combine a lot of his previous work into one.  It looks and feels like a combination of Eraserhead and Blue Velvet.  Unfortunately, just like beer and ice cream, the combination sounds great but just doesn't have that great a taste.  That is not to say that the film is bad, for at least the unexpected cameos will keep you entertained, along with the mystery guy.  And Lynch uses a lot of cool coloring and some wild images that are worth watching.  But I wouldn't recommend it other to people who are automatically entertained by anything that is bizarre, some diehard Lynch fans, and people who want to get high to a film (though there are better choices)...

Bizarreness level:  9 shots out of 10
Rating: 6 out of 10.

Mulholland Drive
(2001)

Starring: Naomi Watts, Laura Harring, Justin Theroux, Robert Forster, Ann Miller

Lynch's aborted TV project, which he scrapped together and filmed a bizarre additional 20 minutes to tie things up.  He earned an Oscar nomination for best director for it.  Regardless of the uneven nature of the film caused by the tagged on 20 minutes at the end, this is one of Lynch's best and more entertaining films, and somehow is more coherent (or less incoherent) despite the odd happenings.  An aspiring actress moves to her aunt's apartment in LA.  While staying there, she encounters a woman with amnesia ("amnesia: inspiring writers of film and TV when they want to do a great twist ending or have nothing else to go on, since the 1930s!").  They quickly bond together.  The actress career grows rapidly after a successful young director falls for her.  The director has problems of his own, regarding the mob that controls his studio (made up by strange old men), and his cascading marriage.  Meanwhile, the actress and the amnesiac try to piece together the latter's life, with little bits and pieces of memory that come back to her.  This leads to a lot of odd scenes, most notably one at an underground theatre, and of course, to lesbian sex (I mean, we all know that two women just can't be friends in an independent film).  Then Lynch plays a trick similar to what he did in Lost Highway, and the things in the past are explained, employing one of the actresses playing another role.

Lynch doesn't take himself as seriously in this one, allowing the black humor to flow.  It is not a comedy, though, and there is a constant air of seriousness surrounding it, but it is more an atmosphere of mystery than of pretentiousness.  Naomi Watts has received a lot of praise for her performance, but it is nothing special.  Everyone in the picture plays their part to the necessary degree of quality, but not more.  Then again, you don't watch David Lynch's bizarre movies for the performances - that's what the "legit" ones are for.  The best thing about this movie, and what makes it entertaining, is that you never know what to expect. You can take nothing for granted, no matter how long the camera dwells on one shot in one scene.  This would have made for a fun series.  Too bad the idiots at ABC (who are now desperately trying to find ratings) axed it.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Bizarreness level: 7 shots out of 10

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
(1992)

Wild at Heart
(1990)

Bizarreness level: 8 shots out of 10
Rating: 8 out of 10.
 
 
 
 

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