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Here in this dark corner I will waste some space by posting up answers to questions that you may have after reading this site, and therefore get rid of potential e-mail regarding any of this, and save all of us some time... Of course, if after this you still want to e-mail me, write to... HAHA! You aren't weasling out that easily! I put my address way down there, so you'll have to make your way through this.
I actually like your writing. Then again, I just had a partial lobotomy. Where else can I find you?
I place posts on a regular basis at the Mr. Cranky forums. If you can't find me, ask for me. Other than that, I occasionally send things to the imdb, although not regularly, which usually involve plot descriptions, some short (and misspelled, not to mention badly written) reviews, lists of related films, and some trivia/trademarks on directors and films, but you will only find the first two with my name on it. I also have found myself recently sending some reviews to Aylmer's Grisly Grimy Page, a cool site dedicated to cult films (most of them horror), mostly to the Dario Argento section. Currently I'm also developing a new site called Die Critics Die!, which is already open, and is dedicated to bashing critics. I would give you the address of my weekly review for films released in Peru, but the site is down (or being "relocated", yeah right). Other sites I've written in are no longer available or not worth mentioning. I also rant in some chats but under other names, so none of that now....
I hate you! You suck!
Riiiiiiiight. Nice to know you can write that in sooooooo many words that go waaaaaaaaay beyond what a 3 year old can do. Please just go release your bad temper on somebody more suitable such as, oh, yourself, by perhaps placing a gun to your head.
Your sight is noughty, and I neeed to protect my childrin from it! Please doo somethin! Yoo mayk them evil! Tipper said so, and so do the Reps! They will torn lak the kidz in Colradoe!
As a psychologist and a sociologist, I can tell you to please read all the psychological and sociological reports of studies done on the subject, almost all that dissmiss such myths based on the "if it seems that way, then it must be true!" rationalizing that created such things as the concept of Earth being flat. If your kid decides to dismember somebody after reading a review for "Natural Born Killers", you better wonder what the heck is wrong with a kid who would dismember somebody in the first place. At most media can be a trigger for something that is going to blow up anyway, not a creator of serial killers. As for "foul language", PLEASE tell me what is wrong with the "forbidden words", something that goes beyond that of "it is just wrong!" Thought you couldn't come up with something. Oh, and by the way, most kindergarten graduates say more "foul" words every two minutes than all the ones in this site, so I think it is too late to "protect" the kids... Also please take a look back at your own childhood and look at all the things YOUR parents "protected" you from, that you find ridiculous nowadays, or that you already do on a regular basis...
How could you not like [some random film that sucked]! It's the best ever! You wouldn't know blah blah blah blah you probably like only mainstream blah blah blah your little head blah blah blah the genious of independence blah blah blah I have been in that situation blah blah blah blah I watched the film and it cured my acne and my sick liver blah blah blah...
Unfortunately, I am doomed to piss almost everyone off with my opinion on some film or another, due to the fact that a) most people in the world are stupid, and b) even among the intelligent people there are different standards for judging a film or different things that can attract one to a film. However, I do avoid falling into the traps of regular movie critics. Almost every movie critic in the world will judge a film only by:
-Its originality. Hey, guess what! There's no absolute original film! Every film borrows something from another, from major storylines to small techniques, some without noticing it. And those who do not borrow their inspiration from literature or reality or the theatre, among many other sources. So knock it off...
-"The book was better". Literature and cinema are very different forms, one playing in your mind and another to your mind. Inevitably since the flim is "based" on a book story/character changes will come and the narrative style will be different, among other things. So, even if you are a diehard fan of the book, when watching the film forget about the book and evaluate the flick on its own merits (or the lack thereof), not on how identical it is to the book. If not, what is the point about making a film in the first place?...
-Realism. I'm sorry, but unless the flim claims to be an authentic and complete reproduction of real life events, or claims to be "realistic", or unless it is a documentary, it doesn't have to be real. Why ask for reality in fiction?! Let the film set the rules of its own world, and only attack it if it breaks its own rules.
-"I hate some other film that is somehow similar to this and/or hate the director/writer/star, and therefore, even though I haven't actually SEEN the film, I think it is awful". Who needs you? I want an opinion on THIS film.
-"After much resistance I finally watched this film and, just as I thought, it is awful." Invalid opinion; you watched this with a bias. Sometimes your bias is well set and the film was indeed awful, but other times you ruined a good film experience for yourself by searching hard what things were wrong with the film. No thanks...
-Where and who they work for. Notice that any film can get praise from radio stations and some TV station in some part of Montana? Beware the film if its only praise comes from Paul Wunder, and the film NEEDS his praise.
-Comparisons to other films: sometimes this is necessary, as in the case of some sequels and remakes. But most times not at all. Some reviewers will write about how great or awful an unrelated film was, and therefore consider this one to be bad. Other times a film can distort completely the source it is remaking or following yet still come out very good on its own.
-There haven't really been any good films since the 50s: riiiiiiiiiight. And Earth is shaped like a burrito...
I want to submit my counter-review of the film that you smashed/praised. Can I?
You can send in a review no less than 100 words long but no longer than 250. It would be included in a page for counter-reviews, listed under the film. However, that page is still not up, since no one has sent in any yet.
Are you gay?
Nope.
Are you a satanist?
I don't even believe in the fellow.
Do you REALLY randomly kill people?
Can't answer that.
I hate the advertisements! Can you do something about it?
Nope. If you have any complaints, direct them at whomever is in charge of freeservers. However, I don't have a problem with them (although let it be noted that I, personally, do not sponsor any of the products, sites, or companies displayed, nor have control over who gets advertised, nor necessarilly have something against them).
I want to place a link to my page. Can I?
Sure. But I'll have to check it out first.
Want to earn $$$$$! Well, here's your chance! Just send us $38.00 and receive our shipments of - hey, what are you doing with that axe? No, hey, wait, PLEASE, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!!!!!!!!!
Next...
What is your favorite genre?
Probably horror, since I have a strange attraction to films that deal with fear and dementia. Furthermore, good horror films are many times creative, innovative, and hit all the right nerves, aside from being memorable. They also demand more thinking and style from the director and its ideas don't come off as easily as most films. And usually most bad horror films are entertaining as well, in the sense of "it's so bad it's great" realm of unintentional laughs. Plus you can watch the good ones over and over again without tiring from them as easily. On the other hand, despite the large amount of horror films in my collection, most of my favorite films do not belong to that genre. Odd...
Don't I know you from somewhere?
Probably not.
Hey, I've been trying to place a film for the last ten years and I'm wondering if you could help me out?
Sure, I'll give you as much info as I can. However, if I can't come up with something useful don't get bitchy...
What is your real name, occupation, etc.?
What do you care?
Can I suggest a film for you to check out?
Sure.
Can I send you my student film/experimental independent project/whateverthefuck? It's really bizarre and I need a source of hype.
I'll accept it as long as it is free, and I will review it, although I don't guarantee that it would be a favorable view.
Can we at least see a picture of you?
Sure... Go to there....
And here it is, my e-mail: icy_shadow@rocketmail.com 
Some useful links: (note: I'm not related nor connected in any way to these sites)
-The Internet Movie
Database: The ultimate site for information on films.
-Revok Online:
Interesting site for buying cult films and related merchandise.
-Ronnie
Cramer's Cult Film Site: Claims to have some very hard to find cult
films.
-Videoscreams:
Place to find some horror films that are harder to find than usual, including
rare Italian films.
-Celebrity
Decapitation: a rather interesting site, where you get to see animated
images of a guy decapitating annoying stars.
-Dumb Laws:
Find out how bizarre your own area may be.
-100%
Weird: Part of the Monstervision website, dedicated to
the cheesy yet odd films that TNT shows around 2:00 am every Saturday.
It also includes links to very strange sites.